Quit Your Job. When to Fire Your Boss

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Cover of "TIRED OF BEING TIRED"

Cover of TIRED OF BEING TIRED

The question for this blog topic comes courtesy of Chris Brogan.  When I first saw this question I chuckled at the thought of the way I handled answering, even wrestled with, before actually making my decision.  If you love your job, your boss, your co-workers, your life, this is not for you.  But if you’re like most people, feeling a bit disappointed with the direction you’re heading, please, read on.  But, before I discuss the decision I made, let me go through a brief overview of my work history and what brought me to the idea of whether or not to quit my job.   More

Is Perfectionism Really a Hindrance?

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English: perfectionism at its finest                                                                    

English: perfectionism at its finest        English: perfectionism at its finest

English: perfectionist measuring and cutting grass

I recently read a blog I’m subscribed to, Marc and Angel Hack Life.  Their most recent post emailed to me titled “12 Things Successful People Do Differently.”  Well, I scanned through the post, planning to read the details later, and I’m halted by successful difference number five.  Number five says successful people “Avoid the trap of trying to make things perfect.”  My breath comes to a short halt as I come to a revelation of questions.  What does the need to make things perfect really do to people?  Does perfectionism hinder progress or propel it?  Is it okay to go back and “perfect” things later?  If not, does doing that mean you are less likely to move toward success because of backtracking?  And the even worse question, what is to come of me if I don’t learn how to release the need to make everything perfect?   Can perfectionism really be that bad for your life? (now that’s the ultimate question).

The funny thing is that post is not the first time I’ve come across the lesson of releasing perfectionism to propel myself towards the success I seek, but for some reason this time it really hit me where it hurts.  Perhaps it’s because I so desperately seek and need a certain amount of success to feel like all of my efforts in the past couple of years have not been in vain.  I know true success takes time,  especially when you’re transforming from a natural-born introvert to a self-made extrovert, but I think my desire for success is more based on need than want.  Sure I need to become more successful than I’ve been because I chose to solely rely on working from home as a means of income instead of returning to a job I despised after an injury then working until my home business income surpassed my job income.  But I honestly don’t think my need to see everything exactly as I see the need for it to turn out is keeping me from experiencing life in a way that I only dream about now.  Now there are times, like now, where one project could take me hours because I won’t put out junk and I’ve always taken pride in making anything I’m a part of look the best it can.  I also secretly desire a high level of perfection in the things other people do and it drives me crazy to see people who don’t seem to care about the standard of quality for what they do.   So in that aspect I can understand, where my perfectionist way slows me down.  No one needs to spend hours doing any one thing, I think that’s why I never liked school, but I can’t help spending time making a work look its best if I have to associate my name with it, especially when I write.

All of those, and a few more things about me brings me to answer some of  my revelation of questions.  Perfectionism does not hinder success, people do.  Looking at my life and coming to some realizations concerning how I’ve lived, I see my hindrance of success coming from other aspects of my personality and belief system.  I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with wanting, expecting and attempting to make things look their best.  The real culprit of success hindrance is fear, especially for me.  I never met a situation that didn’t make me crazy with fear.  Fear drives much of our lives keeping us from making advances and going forward with thoughts and ideas.  Personally, as an introvert working to evolve, fear gets the best of me because I’ve spent a great deal of my life running away from problems and I never met a person who insisted on challenging my personality and character to become more successful except a great mentor and home business partner I met about a year ago.

What us perfectionists really want is everything to look right, but what we really feel is fear things aren’t as good as they could be (and yes it’s all an unconscious desire for approval).  Right now, I’m slowed down writing this post not in paralyzing fear, but in a concerned fear the reader will find my writing unclear or I’ll overlook a writing error.  But my fears keep me from speeding toward success, not my need to make things in my life look their best.   Perfectionism is a challenge of character, not success.   The need to make things perfect (although only an attempt, not an actual destination) is never going to impede a person’s path to gain success.   What I learned in a book titled Thick Face, Black Heart by Chin-Ning Chu is success has no rules [or personality requirements].  A person can live highly successful with a mental illness, personality issues, or without good morals and values.  According to Chu, success has no respect of person.  According to the bible, everything has it’s purpose in time.  According to me, what’s meant to happen will happen.  Since there are no short cuts to success, a person only has to become available for success to happen in due time, not perfect or imperfect.

Successful (song)

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What’s Your Two Cents Worth to Kobe Bryant’s Million Dollar Divorce Law?

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English: Kobe Bryant, Lakers shooting guard, s...

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I dedicate this post to all the men and women pissed at or envious of Vanessa Bryant’s settlement in her recent divorce proceedings from basketball star, Kobe Bryant.  Well, some say she doesn’t deserve it.  Some say she planned to stay with him just so she could get a 75 million dollar settlement.  Some like me, share the feeling of carelessness.  I’m sure Kobe is not as upset as some of the people I see who are openly blasting the future ex for getting, not what she may deserve, but what California law says Kobe owes her.  It’s not Vanessa’s fault Kobe felt he didn’t need a prenuptial agreement.  It’s not her fault California law is what it is (a community property state).  Heck it’s not her fault they live in California.  And I can’t say whose fault it is they are even getting divorced, but I do know from personal experience, relationship issues are never one-sided.  So I’d hate for people to just assume Vanessa sat innocently victimized for 10 years, unless the relationship included abuse.  In that case, I would hope 75 million dollars would not be worth staying in a dangerous marriage. More

Work Out at Home: 6 reasons to Exercise with the Television on

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English: A senior citizen while practicing his...

Recently, since I’m not getting younger, I’ve been on a kick to get more fit and into shape.  Not having extra money to join a gym I’ve found great value in my $70 a month cable service with Comcast Xfinity On Demand.  In the sports and fitness section found on the main menu is a surplus of fitness programs nicely categorized and designed to help you shape up every part of your body.  Although unlimited access to these videos exist, the downside to using On Demand for exercise is you may find one of your favorite workout shows has an expiration date.  Many shows offered On Demand eventually expire, meaning viewers no longer have the “free” access to them (if you’re paying for cable it’s more like a package extra).  But here are six reasons to work out in front of your television.

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Live Dr. Martin Luther King’s Dream and Your Own

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Although always observed on a Monday, this weekend was the birthday of civil rights leader Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  His most famous “I Have a Dream” speech spoke of things people of his time thought impossible, let alone sensible.  He spoke of simple things such as the races getting along, but none the less, he spoke of things to come, not things that would never happen.  That’s what the heart of the civil rights movement was all about, working towards dreams by fueling them with passions for desires.  Regardless of how long it takes to get there and whether or not you have the support of the majority, our dreams are not meant to remain dreams.  Dreams are meant to become reality.  And the reality is if Dr. King were here to see the children of his children living in a world that he and his children could never have experienced, he would definitely be pleased with the work he and countless others put in to make his dream reality.  But what about your dreams. Who is in charge of sabotaging the dreams you had as a child or even as an adult?  Is it you or do you allow others that pleasure?

Dr. Martin Luther King’s – I Have a Dream Speech

What we don’t realize is dreams mean to propel people, not hinder them; therefore, by allowing challenges and obstacles to keep us from going after the dreams of our lives, we’re not fulfilling the purpose of our existence.  I don’t know your purpose on this earth and you don’t know mine, but one thing I do know is life reveals our purpose through the dreams we have.  I’m not talking about the dream to visit Disneyland or Paris, but dreams of change, fulfillment and giving.  Just imagine, where would the world be without all the people such as Dr. King pushing towards the dreams they had for the world?  How much longer would that dream have to wait to come true if Dr. King decided he wasn’t fit for the movement, or he and all the others decided to listen to the naysayers? Even though many dreamers don’t get to see the overall effect the birth of their dreams had on the world, that doesn’t stop the dream from coming to life, living for ever and inspiring others to dream of change.  One thing I learned about the dreams we have for our lives is they already believe in us but they are waiting on us to believe in them first.

A Birthday Tribute to My Son

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Today is my son Jayden’s birthday and now that I’m done playing around with the video I made him I can finally post this before his actual birthday is over.  He turned eight today and since I only throw a big party every five years I decided to post tribute to him and the eight years he’s been on earth driving me crazy and melting my heart at the same time.  I still remember having him a month early and bringing him home two weeks later from the NICU on the coldest day of the year in Chicago.  Truly I understand why people say a child is God’s greatest gift.  No one else on earth can teach you so much by knowing so little.  We fight more than I would prefer, but we love each other more than we fight.  He is my pooh and will always be no matter how old he gets, even when he no longer wants to give me hugs and kisses.

How to Leave Treasure for Future Generations

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Jim-rohn-PASSES-AWAY

“Keeping a journal is so important. I call it one of the three treasures to leave behind for the next generation . In fact, future generations will find these three treasures far more valuable than your furniture.

The first treasure is your pictures . Take a lot of pictures. Don’t be lazy in capturing the event. How long does it take to capture the event? A fraction of a second. How long does it take to miss the event? A fraction of a second. So don’t miss the pictures. When you’re gone, they’ll keep the memories alive.

The second treasure is your library . This is the library that taught you, that instructed you, that helped you defend your ideals. It helped you develop a philosophy. It helped you become wealthy, powerful, healthy, sophisticated and unique. It may have helped you conquer some disease. It may have helped you conquer poverty. It may have caused you to walk away from the ghetto. Your library-the books that instructed you, fed your mind and fed your soul-is one of the greatest gifts you can leave behind.

The third treasure is your journals : the ideas that you picked up, the information that you meticulously gathered. But of the three, journal writing is one of the greatest indications that you’re a serious student. Taking pictures, that is pretty easy. Buying a book at a bookstore, that’s pretty easy. It is a little more challenging to be a student of your own life, your own future, your own destiny. Take the time to keep notes and to keep a journal. You’ll be so glad you did. What a treasure to leave behind when you go. What a treasure to enjoy today!” ~ Jim Rohn

Wow I thought as I first heard this lesson from renowned mentor and leader Jim Rohn. Listening to Mr. Rohn’s audio while riding in the car of my business mentor, I realized I had been shorting myself on my life, let alone the life of my son and his future children. I had to question what I was leaving behind for future generations to use as a treasure for their development, growth and knowledge.

It’s not that I’ve never taken a picture, but in recent times capturing the moment became less attractive to me. I didn’t feel like taking pictures even if I bothered bringing my camera. I’m not sure why I would prepare myself not to make a move, but thinking back I remember being more concerned with what others thought of me capturing the moment than I was about capturing the moment and leaving a treasure of memories for the future.

Reading was never my favorite thing to do as a child and it’s still not today, but a few years ago my desire to read changed. I began feeling as if I were literally becoming a dummy. I couldn’t think straight, talk straight and I just didn’t feel right about my life. Eventually, I went back to school to stimulate my mind and began reading the bible and other books I felt I needed for learning certain things at the time. More recently, my library has increased to about 30 books (most of which I’ve accumulated in the last 2-3 months). Each book has a particular lesson that interests me and I feel I need to enhance my growth and make me “feel” more intelligent and empowered.

Last time I tried keeping a diary my father read it and embarrassed the heck out me because I thought it was safe to write my feelings down without someone reading them and chastising me for my words. Since then, keeping my thoughts on paper is a little scary for me because I have never been satisfied with the things I’ve written and created the illusion of embarrassment for sharing my words with others. It wasn’t until recently I realized the importance of sharing myself to make room for more things to share. My newfound acceptance of sharing has pushed me to start this blog now on WordPress. Another place I began writing is HubPages, but it all started with blogging on Tumblr.  I also decided to take advantage of YouTube, just starting out posting videos from lessons on business to personal life. I look at all of my writings not only as a treasure of my lessons and thoughts, but as a means for developing my writing craft. While I enjoy blogging, I do intend on actually keeping a physical journal.

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